These mistakes can lead to such thoughts and proclamations as;

Well if I don’t get to organise Christmas lunch then I am not going?
Who does that cow think she is to wear that dress here and look like that at my BBQ?
How is it possible to make them hurt as much as I am right now, I must be able to do something to get back at him?
I am not going and none of my friends will be I will make sure of that!
I am really lonely, I have no friends, no-one that really likes me?
What does it take to get people to do what I want, its my way or the highway?

Tips and techniques that can help;
1. Get angry, so the world functioning as you want it to so you get angry, you hold on to what is not working, what is not happening that you want and you stew on it over and over. You feed the anger, you nurture it and you love it, why? Your ego loves the attention it loves the power that you give it. Yes you give it all this you control this anger. OMG did I say something that really ticked you off, did I just imply that you have a choice and that you are choosing anger? Yes I did, but its not your fault, your ego is pretty powerful and without a consciousness that you have the key to focusing on something other than anger, its sometimes easy to ride the ego. You now know that you choose, not unlike you choose to eat crap all day or to look after your body with good foods, this is also the case for your mind, you choose to feed it negative anger thoughts or healthy, rich, fulfilling thoughts. So what ones thing that could be done differently?
2. Take charge of controlling everything, you will just have to do what I want causes its what makes me happy. You need to make the decisions this can be out of fear as much as power and domination. You fear what may happen if you don’t control the situation, you may be put in a situation that you wont be familiar with or that you have been in before and didn’t like. Controlling everything is hard work and it take a lot of energy to be on guard all the time. Sometimes letting go can seem so far away or so foreign that its just not possible to see any solutions or resolution. Learning relaxation techniques, yoga, meditation, gentle walking, dancing are all fantastic mind nurturing activities. Baby steps towards slowing down, being more grounded, watching the stream not daming it. Just looking for the triggers, the first hint of the need to control , upon this sit with it feel it look at it from the outside in, then try taking slow big deep breaths. Remember this is a survival mechanism, this is your ego , your body protecting you but you may not necessarily need it now, access the situation then evaluate what you need to do, stop reacting in a full war armour, see what can happen.
3. Place expectations on others do things that we want, Why wont they just do what I want, why can they see how important that is to me, what do I have to do to get them to do as I want? Why do you want them to do anything? What is it about others doing what you want that turns you on and off? You gets you to do what they want? How do you react when being manipulated?
4. Get revenge, “Nothing sweeter than revenge”, really does it make it better for you in your relationships to know that your enemy has gone bankrupt or lost their business? Really? If it does then you really do have deep pain, you are
5. Be mean spirited to others, Having to right to tell other people what they can and cant do is power for some people, they cultivate positions, relationships etc were they get to dictate, boss or tell others what to do and when to do it. Not working in a team, not working in a healthy relationship, not working as a support or intuitive individual, but just what some would call a nasty piece of work. If this is your behaviour, just ask yourself is this something that you have to do, is it really going to matter if that person puts that marquee there? Is it going to be the end of the worls if those people play cricket on the beach that you are relaxing on? Some would say that you need to get a life and I kind of agree, get over it. Life is tough for everyone, and having people go around policing trivial issues, can sometimes just be one more thing that is added to their load so back the f off and grow up and get a life a life that is about you being fulfilled.
6. Remove ourself’s from situations that we don’t/cant control
7. Allow our emotions to sea saw, making our life hell, why do I react with such hate, why do I feel like crap after I have been to see him, why do I feel so good to bag out other people?

Parenting solutions for frazzled parents that care;
1. So you child wants to go out with their friends, it’s a school night and we say no, straight up, no negotiation or discussion. Would you treat someone at work like that? Would you talk to your partner like that? We treat our kids like adults when it suits us don’t we, but should we be giving them the environment to learn things like negotiation, you know ok so you want to go out, my concern is that is a school night. Wouldn’t that go down better than no bloody way it’s a school night not happening? Try it next time they ask for something that you feel is outside your comfort zone, try talking to them and reasoning, not dictating. Really they are still learning the world, so treat them with respect, the same respect that you would like to be treated with, doesn’t that make sense, image a big L plate on their forehead if you have too. It might even make you laugh in a tough situation would that be a funny thing.

2. Do you talk about your children to people? In public? In front of your children? Are you your child’s best advocate? Is there something wrong with your child? Don’t you like them? Hey if you don’t like them why would they like themselves? Why would anyone else in the world like them if their own parents don’t? I can assure you that this is something that actually goes through the minds of children. I am by no means saying don’t communicate your concerns. But voicing your concerns and whinging are two different things, “stop the bitching in the corner” as the great Wayne Bennett says and either do something about it or live with it.
3. When you talk to your child do you get angry? Cause really they can make you so mad, they are defiant and bold and brash little buggers. How do they react to your anger? Do you get angry with other people, or just your children? Do your children get angry? How do they react? Does it remind you of someone? What happens if you change the rules and stay calm and talk to them with respect? What would happen if you asked them questions instead of told them how it was going to be? What would happen if you asked them what they want?
4. Ridicule the ugly duckling
5. When was the last time you spent time one on one with your child? Be it shopping, roller blading in the park, walking the dog? We life such busy lives that sometimes we forget that our children are just children, yer they might dress and talk like they are all grown up, but your time can mean the world to them, try it don’t take no for answer, remember you’re the grown up in the situation, it is not optional, give them some say in what you do but in the end if they don’t cooperate but do try to choose something that will be fun for both of you. Now make it a common occurance and make sure you commit to it as well, remember even if you child doesn’t want to go they will hold it against you if you pull out or make something else a priorty
6. Don’t teach fun
7.Catastrofy

 
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